Evolve or repeat

I believe the older we get the more aware we are that when life is the most challenging we end up learning some of the most valuable lessons. Sometimes we learn the lesson once we have reached the other side of the obstacle. Other times we learn the lesson in the midst of the raging storm. This week I was reminded of what a crucial role our attitude plays in life.

Typically, at most, I am only susceptible to gaining one new case a week. Unfortunately, my current team is in a weakened position. A team, or unit as we call them, consists of five caseworkers and one supervisor. There is an eight week training period for all new caseworkers that is required for state certification. Once that is completed you enter a thirty day protected period of not receiving more than five cases total. After that, it's into the lion's den you go. While this information isn't particularly interesting, it was needed so that it's easier to understand the current state of my unit. Myself and one other teammate are in the lion's den. This means there is no cap so to speak when it comes to how many cases we can receive. A third teammate is still in the protection period of the first thirty days post training. And then our other two teammates just completed the first week of the eight week training.

On Monday myself and a teammate received two new cases. I watched my teammate completely deflate with the notification of receiving case number two. She is still a very new caseworker. In fact, she hasn't even been around for six months yet. Needless to say, it's completely understandable that it would be such a blow to her. I listened to her voice her feelings. While in route to the first of my home visits for that evening I called my supervisor. I told her that she could assign my teammate every third case instead of every other. My supervisor and I talked it through. My decision was based on the thought that I didn't want my teammate to fall to pieces, because we couldn't afford to lose someone. And if I had known what was in store, I probably would not have been so quick to volunteer myself to that extent. Why yes, I do gravitate towards selfishness.

On Tuesday and Wednesday I received cases three and four. And that is when I started to feel overwhelmed. Usually I can handle the majority of the stress that comes with social work. However, there are times when it feels too heavy. I started wondering how in the world it was all going to fit. How was I going to manage seeing additional families, enter my notes within 48 hours of seeing or speaking with someone, complete referrals, write assessments and not go over 40 hours for the week. I was already preparing myself to accept that most of my paperwork would have to fall through the cracks for the week. While I was in between visits on Thursday evening I received an email that I was getting a fifth case. Luckily, someone was covering that visit. Shortly after I called a good friend of mine. Someone who has been in the trenches of social work.

Shamefully, I spent a solid 20 minutes complaining. My attitude was anything but pleasant or positive. I was very much feeling sorry for myself. Anger, anxiety and fear spilled from my lips. I could hear myself, and for a brief moment I thought; stop with the whining. Yet, I elected to stay in my negativity. Now that the chaos and noise of the week has subsided I am essentially forced to reflect. That's when the Holy Spirit brought one word to the forefront of my mind; attitude. And let me just tell you it was like a good knock upside the head, which I need regularly.

Our attitude drives our behavior. We tend to base our actions or lack thereof on our feelings. Just take a moment and think about your disposition when you do something out of obligation instead of out of preference. Generally our attitude is vastly different when we are engaging in something we want to do instead of something we have to do. I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to kick myself for agreeing to plans for a Friday night a whole week in advance. It's not that I don't want to see the particular person. It's just that I almost always would rather have a reprieve from humanity immediately following the end of a work week. I am guilty of not being as charming when I force myself to follow through on agreements out of a feeling obligation.

Our circumstances greatly impact our attitude. As the pressure of life squeezes us tighter we seem to get meaner. We let everything we are encountering dictate our response. We even try to justify our lack of patience, kindness, compassion and availability by reminding people of our current circumstances. We believe we should be able to use them as a pass for foul behavior. As Christians, our attitudes should be based off of Christ.

Philippians 2:5-8 NIV

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus; who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death- even death on a cross!

Jesus had an attitude of:

1. Thankfulness

2. Obedience

3. Servant-hood

4. Humility

Reading this and comparing it to my life experiences is beyond humbling. I mean think about it. This is such a great snapshot of the gospel. The highest ruler that ever was, is and is to come took on the full weight of human flesh. He didn't come to be superior. He came to engage with the very ones we shun. He served everyone he came into contact with. And despite knowing the brutal suffering he would endure emotionally and physically, he persisted. He could have bowed out at anytime, but he chose the path of obedience.

Ephesians 5:1 ESV

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Galatians 5:22-23 ESV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Unless Christians spend time in prayer and scripture they will be more likely to stifle the Holy Spirit. And in doing so it will be impossible for them to demonstrate even one ounce of the fruits of the Spirit. John 15:1-11 gives us such a great metaphor when it comes to how true believers should produce fruit.

Philippians 2:14 ESV

Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.

Excuse me while I get an ice-pack for my toes. Why is it that my first response when it comes to inconvenience, stress, hurt and disappointment is complaining? Why do I always do it even though I tell myself I need to stop? Why does my flesh always betray the very Spirit living in me? Complaining presents itself as a friend, but it's really a foe. Complaining can quickly saturate our heart. And then before you know it, it leaves us more worn out and defeated than when we first started. It will keep us in bondage.

Romans 12:2 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The reality is if I don't make the time to seek God continuously throughout the day, the world I live in will only perpetuate the warped thoughts I don't need any help coming up with. I have said it before, my thoughts are always the beginning of my undoing. That is why it's so vital I seek the assistance of prayer and scripture to help me sort through them with the filter of truth.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

You can replace the word love with Jesus, and it still holds the same amount of truth. Christians should be striving to be able to replace the word love with their name.

This week I am challenging myself to shift my attitude from "I have to" to "I get to". I am going to attempt to stop saying I got another family I have to go see when assigned a new case. And instead work at viewing it as I get to support another family in need. Besides if I am not mindful and intentional my attitude will only bring people down. Attitudes are contagious. Therefore, I should be displaying one that is opposite of the one the families I work with tend to have. I want to move away from seeing every stressor as another weight to carry. I instead want the Holy Spirit to assist me with remembering this line that I read in a devotional this week. "Sometimes the things that bring the most peace take the most work." After all, if it wasn't for the pressure of life I would never desire to reach out to God. We think we we don’t need anything when life feels comfortable. And growth does not happen in our comfort zone.