To go or to stay

I am spending the next several days dog sitting. And can I just tell you that the set up is like a paid vacation. Two sweet dogs, a huge house, a pool in the backyard, and all in a quiet neighborhood. I took advantage of the perks yesterday. And of course am doing the same today. I am completely stress free. Which is more than welcome after my work week.

Yet, there has been one battle in my mind. To participate in my weekly discipleship group or not. I have told myself I have many justifications for missing this week. However, the Holy Spirit has refuted every single one. I tried to justify that with the increase in distance I will get back to the house later than usual. The reality is unless I am sick I never go to bed early. I tried to justify that missing one week doesn’t really matter. The reality is missing one week will make it easier to miss another. Furthermore, fellowship with other believers not only allows my cup to be refilled; but it creates the opportunity to allow me to help refill someone else‘s. I tried to justify that I am entitled to a break from people because I deal with them all throughout the week. And here’s where I was convicted. The reality is if I miss I will spend my entire evening lounging in the pool. I will be able to avoid thinking about anything that started stirring in my mind while listening to this week’s message at church. And I will be one step closure to moving back into the space I lived for many years. I would purposely walk right into the thing that my enemy wants to use to take me out.

I know it’s a plan that will work if I let it, because I did so for far to long. My enemy tries to tell me that all of my justifications are valid. And that I have a right to live by them. My Savior tells me that my “justifications“ are excuses. And that if I live by them I am choosing to idolize my comfort. My enemy wants me isolated. Not only spiritually, but emotionally. He wants me to keep everything inside and stuffed down. I could easily do that because in a dysfunctional way it’s more comfortable. He wants me to disconnect from other believers because ”Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” Proverbs 27:17. He knows there is power in numbers. He knows that when believers gather and are truly seeking God things happen. People get the confidence to activate faith. People get the affirmation that they have something other people need. Something that was uniquely gifted to them by our creator. People get revelations. Perhaps ones that would not have occurred if they weren’t present. People leave feeling more motivated and knowledgeable. And in turn desire to use that for the days that follow.

I know what my enemy wants. Which means I know what I need to do in order to avoid it taking me out. And when I choose to ignore his tactics instead of giving in I can’t help but smile. Because it’s in those moments I know that he is once again defeated. Although he will try to step his game up and throw some more distractions my way in hopes of creating chaos; I have a resource that never runs out. I have the highest King that has set me free. And when I plug into the source of His infinite power and unfathomable goodness I cannot help but want to to tell my flesh no.

Will I be cranky and grumble to myself as I drive there; probably. Will my enemy whisper that turning around will help alleviate my internal conflict; absolutely! However, pushing through my temporary discomfort provides me far greater rewards than retreating.

Proverbs 18:1 ESV

He who separates himself seeks his own desire, he quarrels against all sound wisdom.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NLT

A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but can can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV

And let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.