Words

James 3: 1-12

My mouth has been getting me into trouble my entire life. Honestly, it sometimes feels like my mouth and face are in a competition to see which one can cause the most problems. How is it that something that small can cause so much damage? Think about some of the hurts you have experienced. Are many of them related to things that have been said to you? Or, maybe it’s things that you have said to someone. Isn’t it astounding how it only takes a handful of words to either build something up or break it down?

Words matter. And in many situations they matter more than anything else. James 3:9-10 talks about the hypocrisy of our tongue. We can say things that are both sweet and sour with little to no thought at all. Oftentimes, we say the most careless things to the ones we love the most. And we justify our choice with the delusional thought that they will always stick around. Like we can push boundaries more easily because love is involved. The reality is careless words cut the deepest when they are spoken by someone that loves us. Sure it hurts when a stranger or acquaintance says something mean. I can get worked up and go over it many times before I just move on. And part of what makes it easier to move on is the fact that they don’t really know me. When someone that I love says something mean, it’s a whole different thing. Their words seem to have a much greater impact. One that leaves me quick to believe that what they said is a fact about how they really feel towards me.

James 3: 3-4 ESV

Now if we put the bits into the horses’ mouths so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.

When looking at these verses I see two things. The first is that the bit and the rudder determine the direction. The second is that just like our tongue, they are so small when compared to the size of the animal and vessel. Can we just let that marinate a moment? Our mouths can very much direct our path. If my mouth is constantly spewing complaints guess what kind of people are going to be drawn to me; the other naysayers. I will also run off the positive ones because my attitude will become tiresome. If I only pray about my own wants and needs then I am only focusing on myself and could possibly miss what the Holy Spirit may want to teach me through someone else.

Proverbs 29:11 ESV

A fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.

Proverbs 10:19 ESV

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise.

There is no erasing what comes out of our mouths. The more inflamed our emotions become the faster our tongue seems to want to move. I see this daily. When a parent I am working with becomes upset by anything all of their feelings and thoughts come out of their mouth. Everyone is prone to such behavior when there is a disagreement of some kind. Maybe you have the type of personality that wants to win. You may win the argument, but the carelessness of your words can cost you rapport, respect and a relationship. In other words, your mouth can destroy the things you have.

As a Christian, your words also matter when it comes to prayer. It’s quite remarkable to think about how we are able to access the creator of the universe by praying. Yet, how many times have we squandered such opportunities? Have you ever had the kind of prayer life that only consisted of a to-do list for God? You know things like, please repair my relationship with so and so. Please take away the stress of work; please get me to my destination safely. Or maybe you have had the kind of prayer life that is all about a wish list. Where all you do is ask Him to give you the things you want. Now I’m not saying there is something wrong with asking God to do things or fulfill certain desires. However, if that is all we do when we access Him, we are most certainly squandering our words.

Have you ever prayed for an “enemy”? Perhaps you don’t think of them in those terms. However, we all have at least one person within the realm of our world that seems to cause us discomfort and grief. When I say pray, I don’t mean a simple-minded request of Lord help them to be kind. I mean the kind of prayer where you say their name: Thanking God for loving them the same as He loves you; asking that He continue to provide them with protection, employment, access to medical care, good health, shelter, food, transportation, etc. And that He specifically surround them with people to demonstrate His love and kindness, and that the Holy Spirit continues to visit them as He creates opportunities for them to not only hear the gospel but see it.

Perhaps that sounds a little too intense or uncomfortable. Our prayers should be bold and move us away from a life that is all about comfort. As our relationship with Christ grows deeper, so should our longing to emulate His character. This means we should work on our natural born desire to be selfish. I can tell you the first several times you pray in such a way, it feels anything but natural. In fact, given your disdain, it might feel as pleasant as getting your hand slammed in a door. For when praying this way, we are literally going against our flesh in all its glory. But, oh how God will use that opportunity to soften you and heighten your awareness.

I mean just imagine if no one ever prayed for you. I’m not saying everything in your life wouldn’t have happened. God doesn’t need us in order to increase His might or pour out His goodness. There is something uniquely precious about knowing that someone petitioned God on your behalf. And it’s just as precious to be able to petition God on someone’s behalf. To know that God will help silence your selfish mind, ease the discomfort of your flesh and ever so gently remind you that you are no more deserving than the one you are praying for. And with all of these steps, He then gives you the clarity and awareness as He increases your capacity to love your neighbor as yourself.

Galatians 5:22-25 ESV

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

As a Christian this is the standard we should be striving towards. The Holy Spirit should bridle our tongues. We should take time to pause and allow Him to filter what moves from our mind to our mouth before we spit it out. We cannot pour from an empty cup. If we neglect to read and reflect on scripture, spend time in prayer that also includes waiting in silence to hear from the Holy Spirit and surround ourselves with other Christians desiring to grow; we are limiting the supply of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control the Spirit is eager to provide to us.

Proverbs 18:21 ESV

Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Matthew 12: 36-37 ESV

But I tell you that they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.

Luke 6:45 ESV

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.